


Becoming Worthy

by binarylightyear



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Backstory, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 14:44:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5669737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/binarylightyear/pseuds/binarylightyear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A backstory of Kylo Ren when he is in his mid-twenties, after the Temple Slaughter but much before the events of Episode VII.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Becoming Worthy

When he had originally landed on Mustafar, he found it abandoned.  Whatever had been here in his grandfather’s day had been abandoned and never revisited.  He broke into the facilities quite easily.  Besides some wildlife, he encountered no other creatures.

He had heard the tales of what occurred there, of course.  He only got the full story from Snoke’s archives that he pulled from the Empire.  From Darth Vader.

He took in a deep breath and dropped his hood.

The air burned his lungs, but Kylo Ren didn’t focus on that.  Instead, he crouched there on that hill and looked down into the lava.  Obi Wan had stood here (or somewhere just like it close by) and watched his grandfather burn.  For Kylo, it was like he was burning, too.

True, that fight ensured that Vader stayed with the dark side, but he was going to anyway.  Or, that’s what the tales of Vader told.  They also told of Padme dying here.  His grandmother.  But she hadn’t.

When Kylo had encountered the reports, he found it curious.  Truth mixed with lies, perhaps?  It was clear that his grandfather was emotional after such occurrences.  He lashed out at everyone that he had once known and cared for.  At those he had considered his family.  Kylo knew enough about him to know to take everything with a word of caution, as well.  To look at the inner causes of such lashes.  Could it be possible that Vader had wanted to kill the Emperor and take his place?  Would he have, if he wasn’t led to believe that Padme and his child had perished there?

He scoffed.  The more he learned about his grandfather, the more he wanted to know, and the more his assurance of the darkness wavered.  He had heard stories from every corner of the galaxy about him.  Luke and his father had told him numerous stories.  R2-D2 and C3PO had relayed him grand adventures.  But he also heard them from ordinary people.  Tall tales and exaggerations, mostly, but the fear was there.  The fear was still there, over 20 years later.

Kylo stood, turned, and started walking.  

He had thought that coming here and seeing where his grandfather had taken his last breaths on his own might have given him a gleam of his life, or a vision, something.  Instead, it just raised more questions.

He kept on walking.

He walked until the lava rivers disappeared and turned to just black and brown jets of rock.  Shiny and matte alike, the rock rose in pillars all around him or in long lines, but also it was flat or led up to an expanse just like the one before.  Something drove him forward, so he kept on going forward.

Eventually, he grew hungry.  He had a snack packed away in his bag for just such an occasion, and continued on.  He passed a number of places on his walk, and he studied them in the minutes and hours it took to walk by them.  Some of them looked like temples, and he had the desire to search them for knowledge, but there was a tug elsewhere.  He logged away their locations for later.  Hopefully he’d be able to investigate these structures.

It was the second night when he finally came to stop.  It was as dark as such a world could be, but still he had to shade his eyes as he looked straight up at the cliffside.  He didn’t have to, though, and a few seconds later a figure stepped out of the shadows.

‘We’ve been expecting you,’ it said.  A deep and gritty male voice.  Kylo Ren just looked at him, an eyebrow raising slightly.  He had no doubt they had seem him coming miles away.  Instead of calling them out on the cliche, however, he just stepped forward.

‘I have been walking, and would appreciate a rest.’

‘Of course.  It is rare that anyone is called to us.  Follow me.’  The hooded figure turned and walked parallel to the cliffside, almost out of visible sight.  Kylo followed him, and soon they were inside the rock walls, and climbing down and up steps.  He frowned, but he followed.

‘These tunnels twist and turn,’ he commented.

‘Yes.  Long ago, this was all underneath the lava, as was the rock that you traversed.  It is a small strip, and few now follow its path.  The lava fleas dug these tunnels, but when the lava stopped flowing here, they abandoned them.  We hid ourselves here from those who would seek to destroy us, like they destroy everything else.’

‘Who are you?  Who would want to destroy you?’

‘The latter you already know the answer to.’  He paused, and Kylo frowned.  ‘We are the Blackguard.’

‘The Blackguard?’

‘Ah, in all your searching you never came across us?  This is good news for us to hear.  Perhaps we have been forgotten, though we certainly haven’t forgotten about the Galaxy.’

‘You’re an organization?’

‘Yes.  Once, we were made up of Sith, those that survived the Thought Bubble at Ruusan.’  He paused again, perhaps waiting for Kylo to interrupt with a question.  He didn’t.  He knew about Ruusan.  ‘We still are part of the darkness, but now we seek to gather the forgotten arts and knowledge rather than to rage war.’

‘So… you’re still Sith.’

‘No more than you are.  Following the dark side of the Force does not make one a Sith.’  Kylo frowned again.  ‘Yes, we are an organization.  Family.’

‘Did the Emperor know of your existence?’

His guide stopped, and Kylo nearly ran into him because he wasn’t paying attention.  They were steeped in almost total darkness, but he could still feel the look the guide gave him.

‘He is the reason that we had to go into hiding.  Are you here to finish us off?’

‘No! No.  I was guided here for some reason, and I want to find out why.’

‘You’re still searching for your family’s history.’

‘They’re big shoes to fill.’

‘Come.  You’re tired.  The histories will wait.’  He turned and continued along the turning path, and Kylo followed.  It wasn’t much longer before the light began to show.  It was dim at first, and then they turned the corner and it was all at once.  The tunnel opened up into a gigantic expanse, looking to fill most of the cliff they were now inside of, and Kylo gasped.

It wasn’t exactly a rectangle, but that’s how he would describe it.  There were tunnels and staircases leading every which way on every level of the cliff.  It looked like the Blackguard had taken it upon themselves to do some customizations after they went into hiding.  It went up high enough that he couldn’t tell if that was the ceiling or if it just kept on going and he couldn’t see any farther.  He didn’t think it very much mattered.

His guide was standing there and patiently waiting for him to take it all in.  When he was done, he took him up a side passage to a little room with a bed and a table (which had food and water waiting for him).  ‘Rest.  Come down into the main chamber when you’re ready, and we can talk more.’

‘Okay.  Thank you,’ Kylo managed, putting his hood back and off of his hair.  The guide left, and he was left alone.  He stood there for a moment, and then walked back to look out into the main chamber.  All of his knowledge of Mustafar hadn’t mentioned the Blackguard, or that there were small sections of the world that wasn’t covered in lava.  He found this interesting, and wondered if it had been the Blackguard all along that had covered up these facts so their hiding place wouldn’t be disturbed.

Eventually, he ate and drank and then laid down, letting his mind be at peace with some difficulty.  He found sleep, but it wasn’t easy sleep.  Despite how exhausted he was, the sleep wasn’t as restful as he wished it was when he woke up.

And wake he did.  There were clothes sitting by a fresh tray of provisions.  They were still black, but they were clean and simple.  He put them on, his other garments folded neatly, and then pulled on his boots and sat and ate in silence.

He was feeling better.  He walked out into the main chamber, and everyone there looked up from whatever they were doing.  Some were reading, writing, there was a group over there sparring with hand to hand, there was a forge in the corner that a group was working, and even the few children there paused in their play to watch his descension down to the ground floor.

A zabrak child came up to him, bowing slightly to show respect, but it was quickly forgotten as he straightened up.  ‘Are you a monster?’

Ren smiled very softly.  ‘Some people might think so, but I don’t.’

The boy grinned up at him.  ‘Be a monster and try to get us!’  He said, and before Ren could reply, the children were scattering with giggles mixed with taunts.  Ren was reminded of the children that he used to be with in his earlier training, and a blank look crossed his face before he went into stalking mode.  He was ‘it’ with these small dark side children.

The adults went back to their work as he thoroughly explored the inside of the cliff, finding children after sneaking up on them and attacking them with hands like claws behind them.  They laughed happily whenever he did, and then joined him in the hunt before sneaking off again when he wasn’t watching to hide again.

The game took him into the libraries, huge empty rooms full of nothing but books, or scrolls, or softly flickering lights of holocrons.  It took him past adults who gave him a nod or a knowing smile.  It took him into the farming chambers that neared the surface, and into the rooms filled with steam from the hot springs.  They were the loudest, and it was easy to locate the children here.

After some time he returned to the main chamber with the children in tow.  They wanted to show him the different projects they were working on.  The youngest held up drawings for him to look at, usually featuring themselves helping out the great Sith Lords and leaders from whatever histories they were studying.  They were riddled with little writings of who everyone was.  His own history knowledge was extensive, but there were giant holes from things that the New Order didn’t know.  The older children filled in when the younger ones faltered.

The older children showed him their notebooks filled with history and notes about their scientific findings from their studies.  He sat with them for a while as they explained what they were doing.  Mostly it was notes just about what they could or couldn’t do as they were learning the way of the Force, but some of the children weren’t Force-sensitive.  These children were learning the theory and focusing on the history and the current events instead.  He tried to keep his emotions in check when talking with them.  He was sure they had it hard enough already.

And then his guide appeared to relieve him of the children.  The children scattered to go back to their studies or chores, and his guide sat down on the floor beside him.  He, too, was a human, and had his hair cropped short, but he could still see the gray all throughout it.  He had tired, knowing eyes as he took in Ren.

‘What do you think?’

‘I think the children are blessed to have such an education.  They all are knowledgeable beyond their years.’

‘Is that jealousy I sense?’

Ren smirks, and nods.  ‘I cannot deny that I wish I had had such a thorough education in all aspects of the histories and the Force.’

‘It’s not too late.  You, too, carry knowledge that you can share.’

‘Do I? You seem to know much about me.  How?’

‘Your master is not unknown to us, but I do not believe that he remembers us, or he believe us wiped out already.’  They stared at each other for a moment in silence.  ‘Your family reveals much about you.  Such legends and tales cannot escape even our remote notice.’

‘My family,’ Ren noted, his eyes coming from the guide and up to the ceiling.

‘You know your family is that of legends, infamously though they might be.  To discover who you are meant to be and what you will accomplish, you need to understand where you’ve come from.’  Ren opened his mouth to interrupt, but the guide made a gruff noise.  ‘Knowing is not the same as understanding.  You can understand without knowing, and you can know without understanding.  To do both requires study and meditation on it.’

‘My Uncle--’

‘Is a wise man, even if he is mostly self-taught.  Just think what he could have accomplished with a proper training from childhood like his father and you had.’  He paused, and Ren finally dropped his eyes to look at him.  ‘Think of what your mother could have done.’

‘My mother has a good understanding of the Force.’

‘Yes, but it is inherent.  It is not nourished and developed.  She is just as powerful, if not more so, than her brother.’  There was silence, and Ren tried to understand this.

‘She should have come with me to study with my Uncle.’

‘Yes, but she didn’t.  She values democracy, like her mother and surrogate family did.’  The guide waved a hand, and water was brought to them.  ‘What about you?’

‘We speak of politics now?’

‘You pledged yourself to a dictator, did you not?  One who does not value what you are or what you can do?’

‘They value me for who I am.’

‘Who are you,  _ Kylo Ren?’ _

Ren stared at him, using picking up a cup of water and draining it as an excuse to look away.  He didn’t know who he was, truthfully.  He was his grandfather’s grandson, the legacy, the… Failure.

‘You don’t know.  That is why you are here.  The Force speaks, and you listen, though you do not know why.’

‘It is the only thing that doesn’t disappoint me.’

The guide smirked.  ‘Then we will guide you so you don’t disappoint it. Will you stay?’

‘If you’ll have me, I would like to learn.’

**Author's Note:**

> Mustafar is known to be a planet nearly covered with lava, but also home to creatures that thrive in it, along with Jedi Temples and other outposts that don't want to be discovered. The Blackguard is mentioned briefly in a Sith history book as being found on Mustafar, and figured they probably had to hide themselves away without any outside help to preserve their way of life. They are said to be chiefly concerned with gathering knowledge, and are (for the most part) not threats to anyone.


End file.
